February 16th, 2010 by John

How To Conquer Your Fears

Everyone is afraid of something. That is simply human nature. You would have to go a long way to find someone so completely self assured that they are not afraid of anything at all and when you did find someone who said that they were afraid of nothing then they would simply be lying. Most commonly people are afraid of things like public speaking, flying, spiders and insects or water. There are lots of phobias that people have and everyone is subject to some sort of weakness somewhere. If you think of someone rich and powerful – what could he possible be scared of, you might think? but of course if they do not have some sort of irrational fear like that of claustrophobia they will almost always fear the thought of losing the power that they have. The point is that no one is infallible and everyone has a weakness. If you are someone whose fears are getting in the way of your goals then you might want to find a way to conquer your fears so you can get right on with your life.

In order to conquer your fear there are several steps your can take and tips you can consider.

First of all, analyze yourself and be totally honest of what your fear is. You will never be able to kick the fear if you are not honest about what you are feeling. The first step to getting over any fear is to recognise it.

You then need to stop nourishing your fear. When you confront the thing that you fear do not let it get ahold of you. If you are afraid of the dark do not allow this to stop you sleeping. Think rationally about what your fear is and bring it back to earth. You need to face the think that you are afraid of and should not allow it to get on top of you.

Therefore, if it is the dark that you fear then go and sit in a blacked out room. If you are afraid of public speaking then do not back away from it whenever you are put in the position to do it. Face it with confidence and your confidence will grow with you.

You need to stop nourishing the fear and trying to avoid it and instead nourish your courage and meet it head on. Avoiding situations where your fear might arise will only restrict you in your life. Instead, have the confidence to confront your fear with courage and you will grow as a person.

The most important part of actually getting over any fear is understanding why you have that fear. Many people are afraid of heights and the reason why this is is because of the fear of falling and hurting yourself. This is totally rational. However, other fears that people commonly have such as fear of rejection are things that will only hold you back in life. You need to understand what exactly the fear is and then realise that life is too short to worry about something so trivial.

In order to conquer your fears, therefore, you need to recognise, understand and confront what it is you are afraid of.

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To YOUR Success

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December 18th, 2009 by John

What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of flying, people, heights, clowns, prospecting, etc…?  It doesn’t matter what your fears are, the good news is you can conquer your fears!

I am going to share one personal story with you of how I learned to conquer my fears at a very early age.

My father was involved with a civic group in our community. The civic group used to maintain the community pool. I would go to the pool in the evenings, with my father. While he would do daily maintenance on the pool I would use the time to swim and have the pool to myself.  Those were great summers growing up. Well anyway I became quite good at performing ones and one and a halves off the low boards. I practiced every night, so I could show off to my friends during the day.

My dad would watch me and asked one night why I don’t do my dives off of the high dive. I told him I was afraid of the high dive. He asked me, “What are you afraid of”?  I told him it was too high. He asked, “Can you jump off of the high dive”?  I told him I didn’t want to.

My dad started to climb the high dive and told me, “Follow me up and I will show you how to do it”.  We get to the top of the high dive and my chest felt tight and my mouth went dry. He talked me out to the end of the board and I remember shaking and trying not to show any fear. He told me to just stand at the end of the board, take some deep breaths and look out at the horizon. I did what he said and began to calm down.  He started talking to me as I was staring out over the pool. He said, “John, this is just another diving board, it is no different than the one down below.” “When you are ready I want you to step off the end of the board.” I told him that I was not ready. He said, “I’m going to count to three and you will step off.” He began to count one; two…and then he pushed me off the end. I hit the water and quickly came to the surface and realized that nothing bad happened to me.

 Dad hollered for me to come up again. I was a little shaken but went up the ladder and out to the end of the board. Dad asked if I was ready to jump again. I told him I was not sure. He told me to go to the end of the board and take another deep breath and relax. He then began to count, one, two, three…I didn’t jump. He then pushed me off the board again.  Once again I came to the surface but this time I felt exhilarated! I quickly went back up the ladder went to the end of the board and jumped! It felt great!

On the ride home I thanked Dad for helping me jump off the high dive. He told me, “John you just learned a fear conquering secret.” I was only in second grade so I did not understand what I had learned. So I asked him what I had learned. He told me, “If you are afraid to do something, just do it three times in a row as fast as you can.”  That lesson has stuck with me and I will never forget it.  I have used this technique in everything I was afraid of doing. Let me tell you it works!

Within two weeks I was doing my ones and one and a halves from the high dive. I will never forget that summer.

What ever your fear may be, Like the Nike commercials, Just Do It! Do it three times in a row as fast as you can.

This will apply to almost any fear you have, whether it is public speaking, flying, prospecting, cold calling, heights, and clowns, whatever it is this will work for you!

John Stone

What is Your Fear?

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