As I woke up this morning, ur brunch time, I began reflecting on what has happened in the last year. I’m no different than anyone else, I have had happy times, sad times, struggles and victories. Through all of that I have always had support of loved ones and team mates.

I began to realize I have never accomplished anything without help from either a friend, team mate, spouse, family or most important God! I am a firm believer that we are placed on this planet with a specific purpose. We are part of God’s plan. Many times we may ask ourselves, How do I fit in or contribute to his plan. Well our part may not be as grandiose as Moses or any of the prophets but our very existence may have an effect on anybody we may interact with.

Just by reaching out and helping someone in need, maybe something very simple that we think nothing about, seems like God’s blessing to the person in need. Maybe just a kind word, or giving someone a ride. Maybe your role in the plan is just to be a parent. What if your child, or someone in your lineage, makes some great change in our world.

I am most Thankful for our God and where he has placed me.

If you want a feel good moment, do something spontaneous. Go rake the leaves in the neighbors yard and don’t tell anyone you did it. You will be amazed at how good you feel when you help someone without any recognition.

These are some things to think about on Thanksgiving day.

To YOUR Success

Did the title catch your attention? Yes Pain is beautiful and you will see what I mean later in this article. No I am not into physical pain. I’m talking about growing pains in relationships and business.

Pain is absolutely necessary in life to guide our actions. Many people new to the business world go into it with a lot of excitement and enthusiasm. They don’t really expect many bumps along the road. A lot of that thinking has to do with their views of people that have already achieved success. Especially in the network marketing arena. These network marketing superstars are placed before us and we are told stories of their massive success. What isn’t shared, at these events, are the stories of some of the pain that is experienced along the way to the top.

Pain is essential for growth in humans for it is a source of fuel we need to move forward. I will tell you right now if you are involved in business, a relationship or life at all there will be pain. Pain is an unavoidable reality of life. Don’t run away. The key to success is to learn how to accept the pain and grow from it.

As much as we try to minimize pain in life, the fact remains that pain is unavoidable. Everything has its highs and lows. Therefore, if we want to succeed in life, the key is not to eliminate pain entirely because that is impossible, but rather to learn how to understand and accept the pain.

What we call “pain” is actually a matter of effort. The effort of physical fitness is painful. The effort of thinking through a complex idea is painful. The effort of building a long-term relationship is painful. From here we see that although effort may be painful, the goal of life should not be to escape it.

If I were to ask you what the opposite of pain is. You may respond, “Pleasure”.
Pleasure is actually not correct. The opposite of pain is “no pain”, the correct term would be “comfort”. Seeking comfort may be nice but you will never find ultimate pleasure if you always avoid pain. I have always found that my successes are always sweeter if I had to experience some growing pains along the way. If you always look for the smoothest path you will miss out on life’s greatest pleasures.

Often, the fear of pain is worse than the pain itself. I’ve watched my children experience the fear of pain at the thought of going to the doctor. Once they receive a shot the pain is over in a matter of seconds but I’ve watched them agonize about the fear of the shot hours before the appointment.

Fear of pain is the greatest roadblock there is. If you’re afraid of prospecting, you’ll never talk to anyone. If you’re afraid of physical or emotional exertion, you won’t achieve, you won’t grow, you won’t find truth.

We all have a choice: Either pay in the pain of trying, or in the emotional pain of knowing you’re too weak to try. For example: If you don’t ask a prospect to take a look at your business, you avoid the pain of refusal – but you have the pain of being a quitter the rest of your life. And that always comes back to haunt a person. Believe me folks, I have been here.

Focus On The Positive

Think about a child playing with his friends. The child gets knocked down and starts crying. His friends immediately call him a “Cry Baby”. What does the child do? Usually the child will pull himself together and get up then continue to play.

By the time the child gets home and shows his parents he most likely will burst into tears! That is a little story from my childhood.

Our happiness in life evolves from how we deal with pain. Many people have learned to give pain a big, “So What!” Others may focus on their pain and just get stuck and never move on from the painful experience.

This is where we must stop focusing on our failures but focus on our successes. Focusing on your failures will cause you undue pain and will prevent you from moving on. We are all created with unbelievable potential and talents, why waste that focusing on our shortcomings?

Here is something to remember when you are experiencing pain: “Pain is passing, results are lasting.” In fact, pain is often just a threshold to cross into a world of pleasure. Those who achieve the most are those who endured the greatest pain. This is why pain is beautiful.

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How To Conquer Your Fears

Everyone is afraid of something. That is simply human nature. You would have to go a long way to find someone so completely self assured that they are not afraid of anything at all and when you did find someone who said that they were afraid of nothing then they would simply be lying. Most commonly people are afraid of things like public speaking, flying, spiders and insects or water. There are lots of phobias that people have and everyone is subject to some sort of weakness somewhere. If you think of someone rich and powerful – what could he possible be scared of, you might think? but of course if they do not have some sort of irrational fear like that of claustrophobia they will almost always fear the thought of losing the power that they have. The point is that no one is infallible and everyone has a weakness. If you are someone whose fears are getting in the way of your goals then you might want to find a way to conquer your fears so you can get right on with your life.

In order to conquer your fear there are several steps your can take and tips you can consider.

First of all, analyze yourself and be totally honest of what your fear is. You will never be able to kick the fear if you are not honest about what you are feeling. The first step to getting over any fear is to recognise it.

You then need to stop nourishing your fear. When you confront the thing that you fear do not let it get ahold of you. If you are afraid of the dark do not allow this to stop you sleeping. Think rationally about what your fear is and bring it back to earth. You need to face the think that you are afraid of and should not allow it to get on top of you.

Therefore, if it is the dark that you fear then go and sit in a blacked out room. If you are afraid of public speaking then do not back away from it whenever you are put in the position to do it. Face it with confidence and your confidence will grow with you.

You need to stop nourishing the fear and trying to avoid it and instead nourish your courage and meet it head on. Avoiding situations where your fear might arise will only restrict you in your life. Instead, have the confidence to confront your fear with courage and you will grow as a person.

The most important part of actually getting over any fear is understanding why you have that fear. Many people are afraid of heights and the reason why this is is because of the fear of falling and hurting yourself. This is totally rational. However, other fears that people commonly have such as fear of rejection are things that will only hold you back in life. You need to understand what exactly the fear is and then realise that life is too short to worry about something so trivial.

In order to conquer your fears, therefore, you need to recognise, understand and confront what it is you are afraid of.

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To YOUR Success

I left Some Of My Baggage At The Airport. What A Beautiful Day!

I had just flown into Columbus airport, de boarded the plane and made my way to the baggage carousel. While I was waiting at the carousel I struck up a conversation with a gentleman I had seen on the flight.

We made small talk at first talking about weather and the flight. After a little while of talking I gave a pause and then extended my hand and said, “My name is John Stone. Can I ask yours?” The gentleman responded, “Ed, Ed Smith.” I then asked him more detailed questions about what kind of business he was into. Mr. Smith told me that he was a salesman for a company that manufactured compressors. He began to describe these industrial compressors and what use they had In the manufacturing world.

The more Mr. Smith talked the more I began to figure out that he was very successful as a salesman. Mr Smith told me that these compressors can be quite pricey and the commission can be quite substantial.

Now my brain starts doing flip flops. I was thinking what a huge asset Mr Smith would be to my organization. While Mr. Smith continued to talk, my brain kept saying, “Tell him about your business.”

Then emotion of fear set in. I wanted to tell him about my business but my inner voice kept saying, “He doesn’t want to hear it.” “He will just tell you to get lost.” “He is probably a millionaire and doesn’t want to hear about a network marketing scheme.” “What can you offer him that he doesn’t already know?” “Who are you to think that you even have a chance to be successful!?”

At that point I was becoming infuriated at myself for not having the courage to even ask. What the hell was I afraid of? Why couldn’t I even ask somebody that I may not ever see again?

Then Mr. Smith asked, “What is it that you do John?” My mind said, “Here is your chance John.” My inner voices were saying, “Don’t do it. You will be rejected and fail again.”

I decided to shut down the inner voices, I was sick of listening to them. I began to tell Mr. Smith all about my network marketing business. Mr. Smith became very interested in my business and started asking me pointed questions about commissions, how you make money by getting others in the business. He wanted more details on the bonus pools and fast track bonuses.

We kept talking about my business for another 30 minutes after we had collected our bags. We exchanged business cards, shook hands and then parted ways. So I thought.

I live about 40 minutes away from the airport. On the drive home I was running the conversation I had with Mr. Smith through my head over and over again. Questioning myself, Did I say the right things? Did I puke the opportunity all over him? Will I hear from him again?

Then it hit me. I had left some baggage at the airport! The baggage was actually better left at the airport than it was in my possession. I carried that baggage around with me for years and it was actually a relief to leave it behind. The baggage really contained nothing of any value to anyone. My baggage was packed to the brim with fear. Mostly the emotional baggage of rejection.

That was over fifteen years ago and I have never picked up that emotional baggage again. To this day I don’t know what I was truly afraid of.

Now I kind of appreciate rejection because it makes me work harder on myself.

Back to Mr. Smith I finally made it home and checked the answering machine since I had been gone for a few days. On the machine was Mr. Smith and he wanted me to call him right away, he wanted to know more about my business.

Long story short. I signed Mr. Smith the next day and made it to the next level of my company.

The company no longer exists and I have lost touch with Mr. Smith but I still think about him whenever I do face to face marketing.

Whatever your emotional baggage is that is stopping you from attaining the success you desire, just set it down and walk away. I know it sounds simple and it is really that simple.

Thanks for stopping by and reading. If you like the post please comment, Tweet or bookmark it.

To YOUR Success

John Stone
On Line Coach
Phone – 740-258-5622
http://JohnStoneBlog.com

Chat: Skype: john,stone67

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7 Steps To Goal Setting

The following broad guidelines will help you to set effective goals:

#1 State each goal as a positive statement: Express your goals positively – ‘Execute this procedure well’ is a much better goal than ‘Don’t make this foolish misstep.”

#2 Be meticulous: Set a meticulous goal, putting in dates, times and amounts so that you can calculate achievement. If you do this, you will know exactly when you have achieved the goal, and can take thorough satisfaction from having achieved it.

#3 Set priorities: When you have more than a few goals, give each one a priority. This helps you to avoid feeling overwhelmed by too many goals, and helps to direct your attention to the most important ones.

#4 Write goals down: This solidifies them and gives them more weight.

#5 Keep operational goals small: Keep the low-level goals you are working towards small and achievable. If a goal is too significant, then it can seem that you are not making development towards it. Keeping goals small and incremental gives more opportunities for reward. Obtain today’s goals from larger ones.

#6 Set performance goals, not outcome goals: You should take thoughtfulness to set goals over which you have as much rule as possible. There is nothing more dispiriting than failing to achieve a personal goal for reasons beyond your power. In business, these could be bad business environments or unexpected effects of government policy. In sport, for instance, these reasons could include feeble judging, bad weather, injury, or just plain bad luck. If you base your goals on individual accomplishment, then you can keep control over the achievement of your goals and get satisfaction from them.

#7 Set realistic goals: It is important to set goals that you can complete. All sorts of people (employers, parents, media, society) can set unrealistic goals for you. They will often do this in ignorance of your own desires and ambitions. Alternatively you may set goals that are too high, because you may not recognize the value of either the obstacles in the way or recognize quite how much skill you need to develop to achieve a particular level of performance.

Achieving Goals

When you have achieved a goal, take the time to take pleasure in the satisfaction of having done so. Soak up the implications of the goal achievement, and survey the progress you have made towards other goals. If the goal was a significant one, treat yourself accordingly. All of this helps you manufacture the self-confidence you deserve!

With the knowledge of having achieved this goal, re-examine the rest of your goal plans:

If you achieved the goal too effortlessly, make your next goals more challenging.

If the goal took a gloomy length of time to achieve, make the next goals a little easier.

If you learned something that would advance you to change other goals, do so.

If you noticed a insufficiency in your skills even though achieving the goal, make a decision whether to set goals to fix this.
Failure to meet goals does not matter  much, as long as you be taught from it. Feed lessons learned back into your goal setting program.

Remember too that your goals will change as time goes on. Modify them frequently to indicate growth in your learning and experience, and if goals do not hold any attraction any longer, then let them go.

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What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of flying, people, heights, clowns, prospecting, etc…?  It doesn’t matter what your fears are, the good news is you can conquer your fears!

I am going to share one personal story with you of how I learned to conquer my fears at a very early age.

My father was involved with a civic group in our community. The civic group used to maintain the community pool. I would go to the pool in the evenings, with my father. While he would do daily maintenance on the pool I would use the time to swim and have the pool to myself.  Those were great summers growing up. Well anyway I became quite good at performing ones and one and a halves off the low boards. I practiced every night, so I could show off to my friends during the day.

My dad would watch me and asked one night why I don’t do my dives off of the high dive. I told him I was afraid of the high dive. He asked me, “What are you afraid of”?  I told him it was too high. He asked, “Can you jump off of the high dive”?  I told him I didn’t want to.

My dad started to climb the high dive and told me, “Follow me up and I will show you how to do it”.  We get to the top of the high dive and my chest felt tight and my mouth went dry. He talked me out to the end of the board and I remember shaking and trying not to show any fear. He told me to just stand at the end of the board, take some deep breaths and look out at the horizon. I did what he said and began to calm down.  He started talking to me as I was staring out over the pool. He said, “John, this is just another diving board, it is no different than the one down below.” “When you are ready I want you to step off the end of the board.” I told him that I was not ready. He said, “I’m going to count to three and you will step off.” He began to count one; two…and then he pushed me off the end. I hit the water and quickly came to the surface and realized that nothing bad happened to me.

Dad hollered for me to come up again. I was a little shaken but went up the ladder and out to the end of the board. Dad asked if I was ready to jump again. I told him I was not sure. He told me to go to the end of the board and take another deep breath and relax. He then began to count, one, two, three…I didn’t jump. He then pushed me off the board again.  Once again I came to the surface but this time I felt exhilarated! I quickly went back up the ladder went to the end of the board and jumped! It felt great!

On the ride home I thanked Dad for helping me jump off the high dive. He told me, “John you just learned a fear conquering secret.” I was only in second grade so I did not understand what I had learned. So I asked him what I had learned. He told me, “If you are afraid to do something, just do it three times in a row as fast as you can.”  That lesson has stuck with me and I will never forget it.  I have used this technique in everything I was afraid of doing. Let me tell you it works!

Within two weeks I was doing my ones and one and a halves from the high dive. I will never forget that summer.

What ever your fear may be, Like the Nike commercials, Just Do It! Do it three times in a row as fast as you can.

This will apply to almost any fear you have, whether it is public speaking, flying, prospecting, cold calling, heights, and clowns, whatever it is this will work for you!

John Stone

What is Your Fear?

My children are working on getting their Black Belt Training in Mixed Martial Arts.  Well yesterday they had to perform in front of a panel of Black Belt judges who critiqued every move they made.  They were judged on form, sharpness, focus.  It was a very intense time for the children.  Some parents had a hard time watching their children being put through the paces.  To attain the rank of Black Belt much is required, they don’t just hand them out because you show up to every class.

continue reading "Black Belt Training: Life Lesson Learned"

Turn off your TV. How much time do you spend watching TV?  The facts on watching TV will be alarming. One year ago my wife and I decided to turn off the TV.  I mean not only turn off the TV we disconnected service so we could not be tempted to watch the TV.

continue reading "Want to Impove Your Business?: Turn off the TV."